15 YEARS OF DIETING.
I think it was 2004 when I tried to lose weight for the first time, which was Year 7. 2006 I remember being embarrassed eating in front of people because one of my family members said 69kg was too heavy for me when we weighed ourselves at the gym. 2007 I got my first gym membership. 2009 I developed an eating disorder and dropped down to under 50kg. 2010 I put it all back on plus more in the short time-frame of 6 months. 2012 I became a PT. 2013 I did my first 12 week challenge eating very little and exercising often. 2014-2017 I Yo-Yoed. I attempted many programs. I started fresh every Monday. 2015 I studied and became a Transformation Specialist. Then from 2017 onwards I made a commitment to work on my own shit. And boy has it been hard. Binge eating, overtraining, extreme issues with food, all-or-nothing attitude. I was obsessed with counting calories, burning a certain amount of energy with running, cardio classes. I couldn’t eat certain foods because of whatever reason I had at the time. If I weighed less, I had an awesome day ahead. If I weighed more, I wouldn’t stop thinking about it and it dictated how my day would pan out. Looking back now, it’s quite embarrassing to admit how much my weight and food affected my life. It’s upsetting to say the least. I was asked this morning “how come you’re like a mind-reader? I haven’t even told you that about me and you’ve just hit the nail on the head!” Because I have lived it. For 15 years of my life I have been dieting. 15 years I have hated on my body. 15 years I have relied on motivation, gotten back on the wagon, stopped and started, made excuses. 15 years I have compared my body to someone else’s and for 15 years I chose to point out my flaws rather than celebrate what I do have. 15 years I’ve been affected in some way, shape or form by food and exercise. --------------- It’s only in the last few years I have made the most progress. Funnily enough it’s when I focussed on the mindset, accountability and awareness is when the love & passion for being the best version of me came into play. And it was when I saw the most results. Both in my body, self-esteem and self-worth. I made a promise to myself in 2017 that for me to create the life I want, body to be proud of and be comfortable in, for me to have better relationships, friendships and exceed in all of my goals; I needed to work on my shit, step up my game and not give up when shit got hard because running/hiding away was my go-to move when I was uncomfortable. 💕💕💕 This post is for my fellow foodies, dieters and those that are battling their inner demons. It’s for my current clients and followers who I am still yet to meet. It’s for the young girls who look up to me and for those who get called fat. For those who are constantly frustrated with the lack of results from the effort they are putting in. For the ones who keep losing the same 5-10kg. For the woman who cries in the shower, who does not stand in front of the mirror naked. For the person who eats alone in their car and for the person who avoids writing the “bad” stuff in their food diary. For the girl who stalks others on social media. For the single girl who doesn’t pursue the guy she is interested in because she is afraid of not looking or being good enough. For the partner who takes things too personally because your self-esteem just isn’t where it needs to be. For the Mum who doesn’t get photos with her kids and for the women who are tired, and not just from the lack of sleep. This post is for you girl, because I bloody get it. D x